Steve
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Steve,
There’s never enough time, is there? And I’m a lazy, distracted bastard. I kept meaning to get you down to Twickenham, kept meaning to arrange a drink, never got around to it, life, work and babies getting in the way… and now, as the cliché so readily goes, it’s too late. When did I phone you last? Must have been last summer. And I kept meaning to send you another comp CD and some music… I know you enjoyed that last batch I sent and I meant to make you another comp covering the best of 2007. I loved that Crescent sixties one, by the way. Did I ever tell you, you make the best comps ever? I must’ve done, a hundred times. They’re the funniest, the most eclectic, the most inspired and they always come with a one-off cover. When I was sorting through my old cassette tapes to see which ones I could chuck and which I should keep, I put these in their own special box, far away from the dumpster. These are precious, irreplaceable little objet d’art in their own right, quite apart from the music contained upon their magnetized little souls; music that would invariably introduce me to several artistes I’d never previously heard of.
How much of the music that I love was introduced to me by you? I daresay I got you into some good stuff too but I bet it wasn’t half as much as you gave to me. I still don’t really get Annette Peacock – no, I take that back, actually – I’m taking the gentle piss. She’s funny and she’s one amongst all the gems. Remember us rediscovering Scott? It was 'rediscovering' for you, at least: first time for me. Ah, that was sunlight.
Martin rang me today and we talked a little. You were always so generous, especially with what you knew, sharing it and giving stuff away, giving of yourself, often to your own detriment. You know, it used to pain me that the one person you never really looked out for or looked after was yourself. Yours was a genius of the appreciative, you could always find the art, the creative in everything. You knew how to see and hear, the trouble being that there was so much to enjoy you’d eschew creating yourself. But maybe that’s what you were here for; you were one of the great “distributors”, a teacher. I don’t mean that in a pejorative way, I never would. I just mean that your generosity always tried to put the rest of us in touch with a wider, richer culture. You could never make art for money because it interfered with the direct line to your muse – and it’s your bloody fault that I nursed that same tendency in myself, you being all encouraging about it. I remember us doing Dream Logic, our stupid two-day comic – that was one of the best weekends of my life. Mentor and friend, unteachable idiot and smartarse, both of us, all of us, as crass as dawn breaking on a hangover. And we had many, didn’t we?
You gave me my first set of Dr. Martin’s inks – when I asked why, you replied, “Because I think you’re good and you should be encouraged.”
This was you, to a T.
“I can’t write,” you’d say. “I can’t do what you do.”
“Bollocks, ‘course you can.”
Then you’d give me seventeen reasons why I was wrong and I’d give you seventeen right back why it was bullshit. Then we’d have a conversation that went on into the night and maybe into the next day, too…
I miss that.
That was years ago and we haven’t done that for a long time. And now the hope of another time like that, at least with you, is gone.
I used those inks for years, you know… in fact, I still have them and they’re still in the same plain cardboard box that they came in. I take them out, occasionally, and stain bits of paper with them and scan them in to use for various purposes of colouring...
And still, that river bank in Twickenham, that set of steps you loved that leads down to the water where the view is across the river to Ham House, whenever I walk by it, it always reminds me of you. That won’t change.
So, this is your latest comp. Inevitably, some music rushes in to score my inarticulate inabilities. Listen to it, wherever you are: I put it together today. Some of it is kinda fun and you’d laugh, I hope. But forgive me the downbeat stuff – I’m feeling sad. I suppose it’s really a comp for me, but you get the idea. The picture, by the way – sorry if it’s a bit hokey – those clouds are over Twickenham, hanging over the river, right over one of your favourite places. I had another one, a better one, but you know the deal. I couldn’t find it. As usual… o, we laughed. Whenever we got together, we always laughed.
So I suppose I’ll end this how I didn’t begin: dear Steve. Dear Steve. Thanks, my lovely buddy, for being you. You taught me a lot. 'Clown is dead, long live... ' etc. All of that. Your influence extends a lot further than you knew, perhaps.
I hadn’t seen you in too long. Steve, mate, I love you and I’m really, really going to miss you, more than I can possibly, adequately say here. You silly old sod. Too young, too young. I hope your old Dad will be all right, and I’m thinking of him too. I’m sorry you never met Nadia. Ang sends her love.
‘Til next time, “Steve in Bedford”. I already miss you too much.
1. Farewell Blues - Sol Hoopii
2. Solo Dancer - Charles Mingus
3. Shake Dance - Dominic Frontiere
4. Tiny Girls - Iggy Pop
5. A Man Alone (1) - John Barry
6. Don't Worry 'Bout Me - Django Reinhardt & Stéphane Grappelli
7. Noble Experiment -Thinking Fellers Union Local 282
8. Wayward Soldier - Bear McCreary
9. Throw Me Corn - Brentford All-Stars
10. Violence and Variations - Bear McCreary
11. Take Care - Big Star
12. Mother of God, Here I Stand – John Tavener
13. When Our Wings Are Cut, Can We Still Fly? - The Kronos Quartet
14. We Don't Have To Think Like That Anymore – Cliff Martinez
15. Sleepwalkers Woman - Scott Walker
16. Death Is The Road To Awe - Clint Mansell/ Kronos Quartet/Mogwai
17. A Meaningful Moment Through A Meaning(Less) Process - Stars Of The Lid
18. Morning Breaks - Craig Armstrong
For Steve Whitaker, 23rd February 2008
Posted by: Nick Abadzis | permalink
Comment
Galleries: Color, Places, Nature
Tags: steve
Name:: Guy_Lawley
Sunday, Feb 24th, 2008 - 09:08
That's very lovely, Nick. Well said. Lot of people will be sharing similar feelings, not articulating them the way you have; they will thank you for it too. He had a lot of friends, as you know, many of whom did not see nearly enough of him after the move to Bedford. I will miss him incalculably. There is a part of my persona (as a comics lover)which on a Venn diagram is actually 86% overlapping with part of his, that part is now diminished, but he will always be in there. And his cultural life was so much richer than that; richer than mine, I know. Thanks again, Nick! Love on ya!
Name:: paul
Sunday, Feb 24th, 2008 - 10:04
Thank you Nick
It's hard to cry with a 3 year old bouncing no your knee demanding your attention...
.... i dunno - you always assume the promise of future time & it's hard to comtenmplate the lack of the joy of his company...
so much left undone
It's hard to cry with a 3 year old bouncing no your knee demanding your attention...
.... i dunno - you always assume the promise of future time & it's hard to comtenmplate the lack of the joy of his company...
so much left undone
Name:: Nick
Sunday, Feb 24th, 2008 - 10:18
Aye, Paul.
Martin sent me this link to Andrew Littlefield's:
"Thanks for that beautiful piece of writing, nick
i am finding a bit of a comfort in all the wonderful
tributes to steve that are popping up online - some
real affection is being shown
i thought you might like to see andrew littlefield's
tribute here ( like yours, it's a special one, i think
):
http://giddyoldgoat.livejournal.com/2545.html
x Martin H
24/02"
And Paul G:
"A sad day, really a shock to so many of us.
Take care Nick, hope you're soon over that flu.
Paul"
Thanks Paul. I felt terrible yesterday, but then the shock of Martin's phone call seemed to chase any bodily ailments away. Now I feel terrible for all those other reasons.
And for those that asked, you can download the comp. Click on the link just below the tracklisting.
Martin sent me this link to Andrew Littlefield's:
"Thanks for that beautiful piece of writing, nick
i am finding a bit of a comfort in all the wonderful
tributes to steve that are popping up online - some
real affection is being shown
i thought you might like to see andrew littlefield's
tribute here ( like yours, it's a special one, i think
):
http://giddyoldgoat.livejournal.com/2545.html
x Martin H
24/02"
And Paul G:
"A sad day, really a shock to so many of us.
Take care Nick, hope you're soon over that flu.
Paul"
Thanks Paul. I felt terrible yesterday, but then the shock of Martin's phone call seemed to chase any bodily ailments away. Now I feel terrible for all those other reasons.
And for those that asked, you can download the comp. Click on the link just below the tracklisting.
Name:: Nick Abadzis
Sunday, Feb 24th, 2008 - 10:29
Jenni's here (copy and paste link):
http://jinty.livejournal.com/477095.html
Martin's:
http://worldofagwu.livejournal.com/36091.html
Matt's:
http://disraeli-demon.blogspot.com/2008/02/steve-whitaker-rip.html
http://jinty.livejournal.com/477095.html
Martin's:
http://worldofagwu.livejournal.com/36091.html
Matt's:
http://disraeli-demon.blogspot.com/2008/02/steve-whitaker-rip.html
Name:: Tony Keen
Sunday, Feb 24th, 2008 - 17:24
Apologies for spamming.
Steve Whitaker was one of the stalwarts of the comics British Amateur Press Association. I'm pretty sure that he was always in the apa whenever I was, from about 1990 onwards.
B-APA was wound up in 2004. However, there was a special in 2005, a commemoration issue when Andy Roberts died, to which Steve enthusiastically contributed. We can hardly do less for Steve. So I will be editing a commemorative special of B-APA, to be available at CAPTION, a convention Steve always supported. Obviously, I'd like as many ex-B-APAns as possible to contribute. But I don't want to restrict contributions to ex-B-APAns; I'd like anyone of Steve's friends who wants to be part of this to feel welcome.
If you want to contribute, please contact me at keentony at hotmail dot com. I'm looking for contributions of 1-2 pages, by mid-July, preferably as camera-ready copy. Thanks to those who have already agreed to be involved.
Apologies if you end up seeing this in several places.
Steve Whitaker was one of the stalwarts of the comics British Amateur Press Association. I'm pretty sure that he was always in the apa whenever I was, from about 1990 onwards.
B-APA was wound up in 2004. However, there was a special in 2005, a commemoration issue when Andy Roberts died, to which Steve enthusiastically contributed. We can hardly do less for Steve. So I will be editing a commemorative special of B-APA, to be available at CAPTION, a convention Steve always supported. Obviously, I'd like as many ex-B-APAns as possible to contribute. But I don't want to restrict contributions to ex-B-APAns; I'd like anyone of Steve's friends who wants to be part of this to feel welcome.
If you want to contribute, please contact me at keentony at hotmail dot com. I'm looking for contributions of 1-2 pages, by mid-July, preferably as camera-ready copy. Thanks to those who have already agreed to be involved.
Apologies if you end up seeing this in several places.
Name:: Tim Perkins
URL:: nttp://www.wizards-keep.com
Monday, Feb 25th, 2008 - 10:42
Fantastic tribute, Nick.
You are so right about never having the time and then...
Best Wishes as always,
Tim...
You are so right about never having the time and then...
Best Wishes as always,
Tim...
Name:: Bob
Monday, Feb 25th, 2008 - 11:58
Before you burn that comp, Nick, can you add a song for me - 'I'm Blue (The Gong Song)' by the Ikettes.
God bless you Steve.
xxx
Bob
God bless you Steve.
xxx
Bob
Name:: Frank Wynne
URL:: www.frankwynne.com
Monday, Feb 25th, 2008 - 23:13
Hi Nick,
I was thinking about you when I heard about Steve... I'd just finished reading the unutterably poignant "Laïka" (thanks to your French agent), thinking about how your style had changed, and from the dedication to your wife and child, how your life had changed, and the lives of lots of people I still feel close to, though I haven't seen them for and age. Ackee and saltfish. Trying to pin Scott down for an interview for Tilt. Spending nights with Steve painting my flat in Brixton and transcribing his wit and erudition into a history of comics (in the process removing much of the wit and too much of the erudition) Drinking late, drinking early and talk as if talking mattered, might change something, might change us… and it did me. I seem to spend my months and years in far-flung countries now, but maybe next time I'm home (and London is somehow home) we might have a beer. In the meantime, if you have time, check out Efterklang's "Parades", Brad Mehldau's "Places" and "Live in Tokyo", maybe Nico Muhly...
much love
F x
I was thinking about you when I heard about Steve... I'd just finished reading the unutterably poignant "Laïka" (thanks to your French agent), thinking about how your style had changed, and from the dedication to your wife and child, how your life had changed, and the lives of lots of people I still feel close to, though I haven't seen them for and age. Ackee and saltfish. Trying to pin Scott down for an interview for Tilt. Spending nights with Steve painting my flat in Brixton and transcribing his wit and erudition into a history of comics (in the process removing much of the wit and too much of the erudition) Drinking late, drinking early and talk as if talking mattered, might change something, might change us… and it did me. I seem to spend my months and years in far-flung countries now, but maybe next time I'm home (and London is somehow home) we might have a beer. In the meantime, if you have time, check out Efterklang's "Parades", Brad Mehldau's "Places" and "Live in Tokyo", maybe Nico Muhly...
much love
F x
Name:: Nick
Tuesday, Feb 26th, 2008 - 19:03
More Steve:
Thank you Frank – so lovely to hear from you – email following. I know Steve’d be touched that you remember that time he came and painted your flat!
I’ve received a great many further emails about Steve; I hope the senders don’t mind if I take the liberty of posting them here.
From Edmund Bagwell:
That's truly shocking and tragic news, and it’s going to take a long time to sink in.
----------------------
From Ilya:
This is just awful, awful, awful.
I read what you said on the link. Thanks - it helps a bit, for understanding (and what's more accepting) why he didn't make more comics, and yet how he still achieved so very, very much. An inspiration, quite literally, to us all.
Do you know anything about whether there's to be any funeral gathering, or is it all too late for that?
- Ed, Martin hand is compiling a list of email addresses to keep everyone in touch with what’s happening about the funeral so I added yours.
----------------------
From John Aggs:
Hi Nick
So sad to hear about Steve, he was a real impact on my cartooning life at an age when I definitely needed booting in the right direction. I didn't really know him well, but he was a very good teacher and a good teacher is one you never forget. I remember mum reading about his courses at Central St.Martins, and phoning you up to see if they were worth me taking. I think you said he was the best comics tutor in the UK. You weren't wrong. Afterwards I went with you and mum to go buy Bridgmans anatomy books from They Walk Among Us. I still have those books. I probably still have my notes from Steve's classes. I guess it's strange to remember someone because they taught me stippling and panel composition, but he taught me those and a whole load of things which I use every day. I think it's not really my place to turn up at the funeral, as I only really knew him for a couple of weeks. That's the sad thing for me, really, that more people won't have the same benefit I did. Only a couple of weeks, and look what I learnt. Thank you very much for offering though. Please make sure that people remember that he was not only a great bloke and a great cartoonist, but also held in very high regard by his students. We should all be so lucky, to live on in so many people's eyes.
~John~
----------------------
From John Tomlinson:
I remember him as a fine colourist from 80s Marvel UK days; one job he did over a Steve Parkhouse strip still sticks in my mind 20 odd years later. I'm getting that 'first of the gang to die' feeling, even if he was never part of mine. To your excellent comp list I'd like to add Spirit by the Waterboys, which I suppose is one of my default songs when contemplating death and the infinite. Life isn't all there is and death isn't the end, of that I'm sure.
----------------------
From Tim Pilcher:
Nick,
Just got back from holiday to hear about Steve. Absolutely gutted, as you are. Lovely words on your site. I was trying to get Steve to do some work for me at Ilex back in November and... Sorry I've just ran out of words.
Have you heard from Guy or Andrew Littlefield about the funeral? I gather from Brad Brooks that it'll be delayed because of a post-mortum. If you hear anything please let me know as I need to pay my respects.
Lots of love to you and yours,
Tim.
----------------------
Thanks, everyone who added comments here or wrote an email, for your responses. Martin Hand said to me, “All these posts have been a great gomfort to me - i just wish steve could read 'em...!” Aye, sir.
Fiona Jerome and Martin Hand are compiling a list of email addresses for anyone who would like to hear about funeral arrangements. If you would, leave a note here or email me and I’ll pass the info on.
Thank you Frank – so lovely to hear from you – email following. I know Steve’d be touched that you remember that time he came and painted your flat!
I’ve received a great many further emails about Steve; I hope the senders don’t mind if I take the liberty of posting them here.
From Edmund Bagwell:
That's truly shocking and tragic news, and it’s going to take a long time to sink in.
----------------------
From Ilya:
This is just awful, awful, awful.
I read what you said on the link. Thanks - it helps a bit, for understanding (and what's more accepting) why he didn't make more comics, and yet how he still achieved so very, very much. An inspiration, quite literally, to us all.
Do you know anything about whether there's to be any funeral gathering, or is it all too late for that?
- Ed, Martin hand is compiling a list of email addresses to keep everyone in touch with what’s happening about the funeral so I added yours.
----------------------
From John Aggs:
Hi Nick
So sad to hear about Steve, he was a real impact on my cartooning life at an age when I definitely needed booting in the right direction. I didn't really know him well, but he was a very good teacher and a good teacher is one you never forget. I remember mum reading about his courses at Central St.Martins, and phoning you up to see if they were worth me taking. I think you said he was the best comics tutor in the UK. You weren't wrong. Afterwards I went with you and mum to go buy Bridgmans anatomy books from They Walk Among Us. I still have those books. I probably still have my notes from Steve's classes. I guess it's strange to remember someone because they taught me stippling and panel composition, but he taught me those and a whole load of things which I use every day. I think it's not really my place to turn up at the funeral, as I only really knew him for a couple of weeks. That's the sad thing for me, really, that more people won't have the same benefit I did. Only a couple of weeks, and look what I learnt. Thank you very much for offering though. Please make sure that people remember that he was not only a great bloke and a great cartoonist, but also held in very high regard by his students. We should all be so lucky, to live on in so many people's eyes.
~John~
----------------------
From John Tomlinson:
I remember him as a fine colourist from 80s Marvel UK days; one job he did over a Steve Parkhouse strip still sticks in my mind 20 odd years later. I'm getting that 'first of the gang to die' feeling, even if he was never part of mine. To your excellent comp list I'd like to add Spirit by the Waterboys, which I suppose is one of my default songs when contemplating death and the infinite. Life isn't all there is and death isn't the end, of that I'm sure.
----------------------
From Tim Pilcher:
Nick,
Just got back from holiday to hear about Steve. Absolutely gutted, as you are. Lovely words on your site. I was trying to get Steve to do some work for me at Ilex back in November and... Sorry I've just ran out of words.
Have you heard from Guy or Andrew Littlefield about the funeral? I gather from Brad Brooks that it'll be delayed because of a post-mortum. If you hear anything please let me know as I need to pay my respects.
Lots of love to you and yours,
Tim.
----------------------
Thanks, everyone who added comments here or wrote an email, for your responses. Martin Hand said to me, “All these posts have been a great gomfort to me - i just wish steve could read 'em...!” Aye, sir.
Fiona Jerome and Martin Hand are compiling a list of email addresses for anyone who would like to hear about funeral arrangements. If you would, leave a note here or email me and I’ll pass the info on.
Name:: Nick
Wednesday, Feb 27th, 2008 - 18:20
John Freeman's excellent tribute which has links to a great many more:
http://downthetubescomics.blogspot.com/2008/02/in-memoriam-steve-whitaker_24.html
John McCrea wtote:
Hey Nick,
thanks for expressing so well the way I feel at the moment about Steve's death... I really miss the big guy. And he didn't get to meet my kids, either, which is a shame- though he probably would have frightened Kirby!
Hope you, Ang and Nadia are well.
Best,
John
http://downthetubescomics.blogspot.com/2008/02/in-memoriam-steve-whitaker_24.html
John McCrea wtote:
Hey Nick,
thanks for expressing so well the way I feel at the moment about Steve's death... I really miss the big guy. And he didn't get to meet my kids, either, which is a shame- though he probably would have frightened Kirby!
Hope you, Ang and Nadia are well.
Best,
John
Name:: richard whitaker
Saturday, Mar 15th, 2008 - 16:48
hi nick, was lovely talking to you at steves wake, thanks for what you said to me. My apologies for being a little incoherant im still really shocked by it all and probabley will be for some time. Heartbreaking. I came away feeling that there was more i wanted to talk about with you. anyway heres my email and fone, i plan to come up to london in the nottoodistant, hope we can get together and talk some more.
rich
07989924722
richdarkawir@loopymail.com
rich
07989924722
richdarkawir@loopymail.com